Piwe are talking about sexuality in relation to the feminine world it is still one of the taboos of our society. The danger for those who speak freely about it is to be judged or misunderstood, but the freedom to express oneself with one’s body is the basis of one’s self-determination. We talked about this and the importance of moving beyond stereotypes Carolina Benji, sex coach, yoga teacher and entrepreneur
Dealing with training, helping companies implement social sustainability policies, as well as offering educational pathways to those who want to better live their sexuality and become aware of it, are just some of the aspects of his work Carolina Benzie.
Today he is in Fuerteventura, where he founded NALU, a yoga and surf school that promotes a healthy sports culture against the myth of performance.
The tendency to prioritize looking after our image takes time away from many other activities we could be doing that could make us feel better about ourselves, increasing our sense of satisfaction and personal fulfillment.
In this regard, Naomi Woolf in the book “The Myth of Beauty” explains how the cult of beauty becomes a tool that prevents women from even economic emancipation, because it takes so much time that they have to take it away from work. studies or career.
It is still difficult to talk calmly, without stereotypes and in depth about women’s sexuality. In this regard, who are your coaching courses aimed at? And when did you decide to take care of it?
I studied cultural and gender studies at university, and then majored in sexuality, precisely because I realized that we couldn’t talk about gender without talking about sexuality. Sex and gender are two different things, but they are related.
As women we have received a castration education about sexuality and also about our being
The word woman is used as a stereotype, rather than an archetype, a much broader and more generous meaning. Some clients have told me during consultations that they have a complicated relationship with their sexuality. This is because female sexuality, when it is free, is seen by our society as monstrous or as something that is not sufficient, that is not suitable for a “respectable” girl or lady. This “decent” woman, as society portrays her, turns out to be a woman who has an almost non-existent sex life and is weighed down by the societal expectation that she will become a mother at some point in her life.
A kind of training like this leads to a great detachment from the body and its pleasure. Ultimately we are afraid to feel pleasure, driven by guilt
Often there is not even sufficient knowledge of our own genitals, we do not know what makes us feel pleasure and for this reason we cannot explain it to someone else.
Cultures
Sex education at school does not exist in Italy: a petition to break taboos
How do you intervene as a sex educator? And what did you study?
I intervene with a sex re-education class. If, however, the problem is connected to a deeper trauma and is due to, for example, complicated family relationships, after the first consultation I recommend treatment with a psychotherapist specialized in sexuality. I did my master’s in cultural and gender studies at Radboud University in Nijmegen, the Netherlands. It is a mixture of political science, anthropology and sociology. I was fortunate to study with pioneering gender professors such as Rosi Braidotti, who was the first in Europe to acquire his prestigious seat Women’s Studies at the ancient University of Utrecht
But when did you decide to found Espressy?
Espressy is a multidisciplinary think tank dedicated to diversity and inclusion. I founded it in 2021 with my two partners who are Francesco Ferreri, who is an anthropologist, and Lorenzo Mattiello, who is a social media strategist. It all started with the desire to create a reality that deals with training and education. In addition, one of my dreams is to be involved in education in schools, but it takes time. The demand for training dedicated to diversity and inclusion is already a reality, so we decided to create a high-quality training service.
You are also a yoga teacher, how do you think sports and moving our bodies can affect our mental and physical health?
Together with my partner Daniele Moscardini we decided to found the yoga and surfing school NALU in Fuerteventura. It is an ambitious project and represents one of my life’s dreams: to change the culture of the body and sports. I’m interested because I’ve been an athlete all my life. I have been practicing yoga for over ten years and have attended and worked in many gyms and studios in Italy, the Netherlands and Spain. Unfortunately, I have noticed that this environment is often characterized by a destructive body culture. Let me explain better, sport on a theoretical level is conveyed as something that promotes peace and inclusion, but in practice this is not always the case.
in backyard yoga studios, as in the pool and any other sports center, episodes of body shaming occur daily and the myth of performance reigns
You either show that you perform well, or you risk being bullied or intimidated. The entertainment aspect of sports, however, is just as important. Our dream was to open a center where mind and body were conceived as something that goes together. A place where we are committed to making people who have a healthy desire to exercise feel welcome and understood, without undue pressure. In addition, we also use the school space for dissemination, through workshops. I recently held one on gender stereotyping and body shaming with the local community. The goal is to create a new sports culture.
There is much to deconstruct and starting with the younger generations may represent a solution. In this regard, on social media you expose yourself to issues such as eating disorders, recognized as a growing problem by the Italian Society of Child and Adolescent Neuropsychiatry (Sinpia). What advice do you want to give?
Eating disorders are a complex phenomenon and certainly more prevalent in the female population, but not only, and I would like to repeat that. I don’t feel like narrowing it down to a discussion only related to image or how I see my body and how others see it. Certainly, however, to understand the disparity in female incidence, we must ask why women are constantly trained to look outward for approval.
Women’s bodies are subject to bad lookand this has absolutely nothing to do with whether people are healthy or not, but it has to do with the possession and objectification of the female body.
When the gaze of others, but especially the male gaze, does not validate a woman’s aesthetic expression, her world collapses
This is because from a young age society teaches girls to seek that look that will validate their bodies. Males aren’t taught the same, and in fact men aren’t used to asking these kinds of questions all the time, although that doesn’t mean at all that there isn’t a male stereotype.
Where do you think it is important to start again to create an inclusive culture in society?
It all stems from gender stereotypes and a culture that sees women in an inferior position compared to men. But be careful: in this culture, all other identities are also subservient to the human and have little ability to manage their own bodies.
We need to intervene in school, changing the textbooks and the way we talk about women and men, moving away from the pattern according to which the father is the one who works and the mother is the one who irons. Introducing socio-emotional and gender education in schools from childhood to high school can make a big positive difference. We can do all the awareness campaigns, posts, stories and events we want, but they are nothing more than ‘bandaids’ to a much bigger wound.